In this current reality, my most important goal has been to preserve myself as an individual. When in my country, freedom and security cannot coexist, when you have to make a choice that eliminates the latter, it becomes clear that you need to preserve not just your identity but your very humanity.
I often find myself filled with hatred and disgust for those who support evil, who behave inhumanely and cruelly. I feel I am losing my own humanity. Hatred is not a feeling that comes naturally to me, and it cannot be justified even if those I hate deserve the pain I wish upon them.
I have transformed from a person who believes all people are good until proven otherwise, into one who sees enemies everywhere, and there is reason for that shift. I am trying to hold onto the memory of what is normal, what it means to be human. This is incredibly difficult.
I hope that I, and others who are going through this, can retain our humanity and compassion.
